Music and Musings

Sometimes, a person can make you absolutely crazy, but in a good way. This is not one of those times. It’s absolutely exhausting trying to keep up some kind of “friendship”, or whatever you want to call it, with someone who constantly thinks you have alterior motives or are trying to manipulate them into something. This isn’t, nor has it ever, been the case. I’m just trying to have a normal conversation and be sweet instead of sarcastic for a change. But way to totally kill the mood and remind me why I really need to just forget that you exist all together. I’m through trying to be a good friend.

Whatever. I’m over it.

I found out while I was on my break from work today that Whitney Houston’s official toxicology results were released to the media. The report showed that her death was caused by accidental drowning, most likely caused by complications of heart disease. Cocaine was also found in her system.

If you’ve talked to me at all over the course of the past month or so, you know that Whitney’s death has really affected me. I would be lying if I said I had always been a loyal follower of hers, but like many other women my age, I grew up with her music. I have always loved to sing and I remember standing in front of my mirror belting out I Will Always Love You and One Moment in Time. As someone who absolutely loves music, I am able to recognize that Whitney Houston made an immeasurable contribution to the industry and paved the way for so many of the artists who are enjoying success and inspiring the next generation. So losing her has been devastating for me. When you grow up listening to someone and admiring their talent, it’s like losing part of what made you who you are.

But there’s also more to it than that. After doing some research into Whitney’s career and personal life, I realized that there is so much more to her than just “The Voice”. She was an amazingly Godly woman. She loved The Lord and never once tried to hide that. She was more than willing to openly share her faith in front of the entire world. How many Christians can actually say that they have shared their faith with the whole world? Whitney was also a very devoted wife. Even the most casual fan probably knows that her marriage to Bobby Brown was quite unhealthy. He cheated on and mistreated her for years, but Whitney believed in the sanctity of her vows, so she continued to work on the marriage until she knew in her heart that it was better for everyone involved to divorce. She was also a mother. Her relationship with Bobbi Kristina actually reminds me a lot of my relationship with my mom. The bond they shared went deeper than mother/daughter. They were each other’s rock. They supported and cared for each other always.

And yes, she was also a woman with an addiction problem, and unfortunately it did contribute to her death. Whitney has admitted to struggling with addiction to cocaine. Obviously drug use is a very dangerous thing, and I am not trying to in any way lessen the gravity of that situation. But haven’t we all suffered from “addictions” in our lives? I have never been addicted to any kinds of drugs or anything like that, but I know there have been times in my life where I leaned too heavily on something that was harmful to me. We all have addictions, whether it be drugs or alcohol or even a relationship or something like that. We’re all addicted to something that takes away our pain and just because that thing we rely upon may not be an illegal drug, that doesn’t make us any better than someone who does.

I have to admit that I was disappointed when I learned that drugs were a contributing factor in Whitney’s death. Like so many others, I had been hoping that she had finally won her battle with addiction. But just because she stumbled in the end, does not make her any less of a person in my eyes. Addiction is a hard situation and I know that Whitney is not the first person to have hit a bump in her road to recovery. 

The one thing about Whitney that I truly believe is that she is with Jesus right now. Despite the demons she faced, the one thing that always remained a constant was her undying faith. God never said that we had to be perfect. He never expected us to live our lives without making mistakes. He only asked that we trust and rely upon Him and do our best to honor him. And Whitney did that. I honestly believe that the tragedy of her death has won may lives for the Lord. I know my  faith has been strengthened by the example that she has set with her life.

So say what you will about Whitney Houston, but remember that you only knew her name, not her soul. I hope that Whitney is remembered for her music, her spirit, her amazing beauty, both inside and out, and her love of the Lord. People will always have their opinions, but I would encourage you to remember that no one is perfect. Whitney was a human being, just like all of us and she should be judged not for her mistakes in life, but for the purity of her heart and the love that she gave to so many that she inspired with the beautiful gift of her voice.

May you rest with the angels, Whitney. You are so loved.

(Photo via yahoo.com. Title taken from Kevin Costner’s eulogy.)

So as some of you may know, I’m going to school for PR/Communications, which basically means that I’ve spent the last 3 years of my life studying the media and the effects it has on our society and culture. For the most part, it’s been a very beneficial thing. But there are also many dark sides to the media machine that has become part of our daily lives.

One of the most detrimental effects of the media that I have seen is how it has changes the idea of what a woman should look like. I’m not sure there has ever been another time in history where women and girls have felt more pressured to fit society’s image of “beauty”. It’s coming at us from everywhere we look. Television shows seem to cast mostly young, thin women. Magazines put airbrushed images of celebrities on their covers. Even clothing seems to be cut much smaller than it used to be. It just seems like the idea of beauty has become very cut and dry. Tall, thin, tan women with big boobs and a tiny waist are beautiful. And anyone who deviates from that image is missing the mark.

It absolutely shatters my heart into a million pieces to know that little girls who are growing up now are going to be looking to these overly made over celebrities for how they should look. I noticed today at the retail store that I work at, that the girl’s size clothes look exactly like the clothes we carry in the junior’s department. Isn’t that sad? 7 and 8 year old girls feel like they need to look like the 20 something year old women that they see on TV. And the thing is, they don’t realize that even those women don’t actually look like that. They sit through hours of hair and makeup and wardrobe fitting in order to look “just right”.

I’ve spent most of my life trying to fit that image. My weight has been all over the board, sometimes dipping into the underweight category and sometimes getting higher than it should. I’ve purchased tons of self tanners and tanning bed packages, dyed my hair a million colors and spent a small fortune on designer clothes and makeup. And not a single one of those things has ever made me happy or feel good about myself.

I don’t know if it’s just that I’m getting older, but I’ve finally reached the point where I’m done trying to fit the mold of being “beautiful”. The reality of it is, I’m 5’4. I’m not stick thin. I have a fair complexion and freckles. And I don’t look like the girls on the cover of Sports Illustrated. And I NEVER will! I’m always going to have to work hard to maintain a slim figure, I will never in my life be considered tan, and I’m probably never gonna have an ass like Beyonce. And there’s nothing wrong with that!

I think part of what has made me realize all of this is finally meeting a man who truly appreciates me for exactly what I am. He has never expected me to look like Megan Fox. He doesn’t see me as a sexual object. And he realizes that the way I look when I wake up in the morning is the real Megan. He’s told me a few times that he loves the way I look in sweats with my hair in a ponytail and no makeup on, because he knows he’s one of the only people who gets to see me like that. He gets to see the real me. And guess what guys, that’s the kind of man women are looking for.

I hope that every woman gets to that place in her life where she feels comfortable in her own skin. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with trying to look pretty. I love getting my hair done and playing with makeup. But you have to realize that you’re still just as beautiful without it. And that there is no perfect woman out there. 

(Photo via Google)

memphisinjune:

Unless you’re a tool, I guess.

Lately I’ve been hearing a lot of guys complain on facebook and twitter about girls. You’re all annoyed that we complain about how all guys are assholes and all of the good ones are taken and blah blah blah. We quote all kinds of bullshit from the Notebook and whatever else as a not so subtle message to whatever guy pissed us off or did us wrong this week. And this is majorly ruffling some male feathers out there. First of all I want to say that I completely get it. It annoys the living hell out of me too. Because us girls whine and cry and complain about how we’re so mistreated all while ignoring the nice guys who reach out to us and continuously going back to our asshole boyfriends who are toying with our emotions.

Here’s what you guys need to know though. At some point, everyone goes through this. Guys and girls alike. We all meet someone who we fall way too hard for, despite their douche bag-ery, and hold out hope that someday, somehow, they will magically morph into this perfect person that we know they can be. The only difference is, girls tend to be more interested in being subtle about it. We like to use clever (or maybe not so clever) subtext to get our point across. So what guys have to realize is this: Our “OMG why are boys such jerkssss??” status updates are not actually meant to be answered. It’s our way of sending a message to the jerk in question, not all of the actually decent guys who may potentially be interested. This is completely ridiculous and idiotic on our part, and has come to be one of my biggest pet peeves, but every girl has done this at some point.

But here’s the good news. While every girl will go through one of these crappy, one-sided relationships at least once, we eventually grow up and get over it. Before long we get sick of the drama and the heartache and decide that we would rather just be happy than hang on to the hope that our favorite little ass hat will change his ways. And when we do mature a little bit, we’ll be much more receptive to guys that are actually interested in treating us well. 

So here’s what you guys need to do. If you’re pining after a girl who keeps going back to someone who treats her badly, just stop! Because you’re being just as bad as her. Give her some time to grow up and mature, and move on to a girl who has already learned this lesson. There are plenty of us out there. Again, I’m with you guys. I think this behavior is stupid and pointless and immature, too. But I’ve been through it and I accept, just like you need to, that it’s one of those necessary evils in life. You have to go through something terrible to truly appreciate something great.